Don't want to carry drugs get your Camel to do it

Camel's Carry Drugs a good alternative this!!

CBBC Newsround | Chat | Your Comments | Fingertip scanning - is it a good idea?

Fingertip scanning - is it a good idea? Well heres my opinion, if you had this in schools it's very easy to get out of lessons, the best way is the Artemis Fowl way, this involves cutting off someone finger and placing it on the finger scanner, i know this may not be practical but still it's funny!

Subservient Chicken

Subservient Chicken from Burger King... make this real chicken man do stuff!

Subservient Everything- Stickman

Subservient Stickman the latest in the subservient selection, you can make your own for this!

Su Doku

Su Doku is challenging Mind Game which i played recently and quite enjoyed. Here is a link to
A Hard Su Doku Puzzle.

I'd Never Thought of Doing this before

Wow I think i have just discovered a new way of blogging while messing
about in the settings, email blogging! Effectively this means i could
Blog from school without having to go on Bloggers website and run the
risk of being kicked off the next work, I'm not really sure what Miss
Spiers thinks of blogging!

More New Nationalities

Now people from Japan Germany Singapore and Portugal have visited. Although i can only say hello in one of those languages so Guten Tag!!

I don't feel too well

Don't really feel too good at the moment. I have had a bad chest and soar throat for the last 2 days and a soar throat for 2 days before that. I hope i get better soon...

Weebl Advent Calendar!!!

Weebls Stuff - News

It's a screen saver that will grab a new toon every day in December till Christmas (as long as you have a net connection) and works for Mac and PC and the best thing about it is it includes all your favourite weebl stuff characters and Weebl and Bob!

Giant Risotto

Giant Risotto what a wonderful dish. I remember making my risotto at school, I put the lid on forgot to stir it and spent half of lunch scraping it off the pan, none was edible. Pity they have now banned that practical.

CBBC Newsround | UK | Kids on way to being shopaholics

CBBC Newsround | UK | Kids on way to being shopaholics: "Kids living in the East Midlands liked shopping the most, those in the South West and East Anglia liked it least." I wonder why maybe if there were decent shops in these places they might like it a bit more!!!

Thirsty Austrailians brave Crocodiles for beer

Thirsty Austrailians brave Crocodiles for beer, Austrailian Madness! I once saw some austrailians swinging over this stream on twigs from a hanging tree and they fell in hehe.

Woking boss plays down Guppy link

Woking boss plays down Guppy link!!! Steve Guppy a totally usless player but still professional, he hs played for Celtic and Leicester player for Woking Reserves, at Wokings level he would probably be a good signing!

Being Fergies 1000th game for Man U heres a good quote:

"Sir Alex, you have one bullet. Who would you shoot, Victoris Beckham or Arsene Wenger?" he replied, "Could i have two bullets?"

What i do at school for GCSEs...

Well i could have said this a while ago as i have known for ages but here we go anyway:

• Maths and English(Language + Literature)-(the subjects for everybody)
• Triple Science
• History
• Graphics
• Latin
• Digital Photography
• RE Full Course
• German
  

NON-GCSE: PE and PSE

To the citizens of the United States of America

To the citizens of the United States of America:-

In the light of your failure to elect a proper President of the USA and thus
to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your
independence, effective today.

Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories. Except Utah, which she does not fancy.

Your new prime minister (The Right Honourable Tony Blair, MP for the 97.85% of you who have until now been unaware that there is a world outside your borders) will appoint a minister for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire will be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed. To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:

1. You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then
look up "aluminium". Check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at
just how incorrect your pronunciation has been. The letter 'U' will be
reinstated in words such as 'favour' and 'neighbour', skipping the letter
'U" is nothing more than laziness on your part. Likewise, you will learn to
spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters.

You will end your love affair with the letter 'Z' (pronounced 'zed' not 'zee') and the suffix "ize" will be replaced by the suffix "ise". You will learn that the suffix
”burgh” is pronounced “burra”, as in Edinburgh. You are welcome to re-spell
Pittsburgh as 'Pittsberg' if you can't cope with correct pronunciation.

Generally, you should raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up
"vocabulary". Using the same twenty seven words interspersed with filler
noises such as "like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient
form of communication. Look up "interspersed". There will be no more
'bleeps' in the Jerry Springer show. If you're not old enough to cope with
bad language then you shouldn't have chat shows. When you learn to develop your vocabulary then you won't have to use bad language as often.

2. There is no such thing as "US English". We will let Microsoft know on
your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take account
of the reinstated letter 'u' and the elimination of "-ize".

3. You should learn to distinguish the English and Australian accents. It
really isn't that hard. English accents are not limited to Cockney, upper-class twit or Mancunian (Daphne in Frasier).

You will also have to learn how to understand regional accents - Scottish dramas such as "Taggart" will no longer be broadcast with subtitles. While we're talking about regions, you must learn that there is no such place as Devonshire in England. The name of the county is "Devon". If you persist in calling it Devonshire, all American States will become "shires" e.g. Texasshire, Floridashire, Louisianashire etc..

4. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as the
good guys. Hollywood will be required to cast English actors to play English
characters.

British sit-coms such as "Men Behaving Badly" or "Red Dwarf"
will not be re-cast and watered down for a wishy-washy American audience
who can't cope with the humour of occasional political incorrectness.

5. You should relearn your original national anthem, "God Save The Queen",
but only after fully carrying out task 1. We would not want you to get
confused and give up half way through.

6. You should stop playing American "football". There is only one kind of
football. What you refer to as American "football" is not a very good game.

The 2.15% of you who are aware that there is a world outside your borders
may have noticed that no one else plays "American" football. You will no
longer be allowed to play it, and should instead play proper football.
Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls. It is a difficult
game. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby
(which is similar to American "football", but does not involve stopping for
a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like
nonces). We are hoping to get together at least a US rugby sevens side by
2005.

You should stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the 'World Series' for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.15% of you are aware that there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. Instead of baseball, you will be allowed to play a girls' game called "rounders" which is baseball without fancy team strip, oversized gloves, collector cards or hotdogs.

7. You should declare war on Quebec and France, using nuclear weapons if
they give you any merde. The 97.85% of you who were not aware that there is a world outside your borders should count yourselves lucky. The Russians
have never been the bad guys. "Merde" is French for "****".

You will no longer be allowed to own or carry guns. You will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous in public than a vegetable peeler. Because we don’t believe you are sensible enough to handle potentially dangerous items, you will require a permit if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.

8. July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 2nd will be a new
national holiday, but only in England. It will be called "Indecisive Day".

9. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and it is for your
own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean.

All road intersections will be replaced with roundabouts. You will start
driving on the left with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go
metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables.
Roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of
humour.

10. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries
are not real chips. Fries aren't even French; they are Belgian though
97.85% of you (including the guy who discovered fries while in Europe) are
not aware of a country called Belgium.

Those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called "crisps". Real chips are thick cut and fried in animal fat. The traditional accompaniment to chips is beer which should be served warm and flat. Waitresses will be trained to be more aggressive with customers.

11. As a sign of penance 5 grams of sea salt per cup will be added to all
tea made within the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, this quantity to be
doubled for tea made within the city of Boston itself.

12. The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually
beer at all, it is lager. From November 1st only proper British Bitter will
be referred to as "beer", and European brews of known and accepted
provenance will be referred to as "Lager".

The substances formerly known as "American Beer" will henceforth be
referred to as "Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine", with the exception of the
product of the American Budweiser company whose product will be referred to as "Weak Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine". This will allow true Budweiser (as
manufactured for the last 1000 years in Pilsen, Czech Republic) to be sold
without risk of confusion.

13. From December 1st the UK will harmonise petrol (or "Gasoline" as you
will be permitted to keep calling it until April 1st 2005) prices with the
former USA. The UK will harmonise its prices to those of the former USA and
the Former USA will, in return, adopt UK petrol prices (roughly $6/US
gallon - get used to it).

14. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers
or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows
that you're not adult enough to be independent. Guns should only be handled
by adults. If you're not adult enough to sort things out without suing
someone or speaking to a therapist then you're not grown up enough to
handle a gun.

15. Please tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us crazy.

Tax collectors from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to
ensure the acquisition of all revenues due (backdated to 1776).

Thank you for your cooperation.

Stick up become unstuck!!!

Stick up become unstuck!!! How can idiots even get it this badly wrong!!

EA Announces The Sims 2 University Expansion Pack

Neowin.net - Where unprofessional journalism looks better - EA Announces The Sims 2 University Expansion Pack here we go te first expansion pack for the Sims 2... This one lets you take your sims too university, how interesting!!

What my good friend rosie decided she would do to a link to my website!

Well here is what Rosie decided she would try and get my BLOGWISE blog advertisment type thing to look like, quite entertaining. Douglas is what she calls me by the way thank to this guy called Charlie!

Hi,

http://www.blogwise.com/bloginfo?uid=36225
I have received a request to update your blog entry on Blogwise.com:

Update blurb from "A Blog all about me, my life and what i find that is weird and wonderful on the net"
to "A Blog all about me, my life and what i find that is weird and wonderful on the net and that i love ****** *****"

Update keywords from "blog, life, rss, weird, cool, sites, Ashley, firefox, Grimshaw"
to "blog, life, rss, weird, cool, sites, Ashley, firefox, Grimshaw,******"

Update language from ""
to "Douglas land for Ashlicks"

Update name from "Ashley Grimshaw Life Blog"
to "Douglas Ashlick Grimshaw Life Blog"

To accept these changes to your entry please follow this link:
"http://www.blogwise.com/conf?id=************"

Kind Regards,

The Blogwise.com Editors

----

This is an automated message, triggered by somebody (hopefully you) requesting changes. This address is listed as the owner of the entry. If this is no longer the case, please reply to this email directly to contact a human.

Hi Rosie!!

Since you really wanted to be posed on the blog Rosie here is a post for you.... hi Rosie Fisher how is BOB!

It's snowing... well nearly!!

Just looked out the window and it's snowing, well it is snow but because its so wet it's landing as water so it's really sleet but still first snow i have seen since february!

About to go bowling... must win!

How to sort out a dodgy ref, Moldovan style!

How to sort out a dodgy ref well it's very easy, grab your jeep and drive it onto the football pitch and try and run him over. All you get is a £1080 fine.... Urs Meiers here we come...

Been to Laser Quest:.. 4th place best

Just come back from Laser Quest, it ruled i came 9/32 and 4/36 and in mine and hannahs on going battle she beat me in the first, i beat her in the 2nd although she is blaming it on a faulty pack, v unlikely!!

Illegal Lego

Illegal Lego what type of person would take up doing this... well a chinese person did and 10 tons of bricks were seized then crushed!!!!

Football Update: Spain 1 - 0 England

Well this is my first sports update in hopefully quite a few for the major sporting event I have watched.

Well here we are, in England's worst display for ages there was not really one plus point for England in the whole of the match. We started badly, let in a corner on 9 minutes, so 1-0 down and this was how it was to stay for the rest of the game.
The only thing that was vaugly good was that we saved a penalty that we should not have got after the first goal which Robinson definately Englangs best player on the night saved with style and even had a funny half-hearted celebration before realiseing that he had to go and collect the ball.
Rooney the Wonderkid was the worst player on the pitch by far as he became wound up by the Spanish players and had to be swooped with Alan Smith before half time to avoid being sent off.

Overall a totally usless display from England with only 2 chances to score in the whole game, both of which were off target. The game itself was over-shaddowed by racist chanting from the Spanish fans and that will hopefully lead to some penalty of some sorrt towards Spain.

Doggy Death Threats

Doggy Death Threats, this poor dog all it was doing was it's job! Then it was threatened...

Beavers fix dam with stolen cash

Some Beavers fixed a dam with stolen cash!! Go them when the police removed the dam they found the cash... $40000!! Rich Beavers, although it is unclear if they recieved a reward!!

EA Games Poll Results... on browsers

EA Games Poll Results now this is proof then firefox is the best out there look at this poll on a creditable games website! Look out Firefox way out frount and well to my good friend geo amazingly your favourite browser does not even make the list!

Oh No my Files

How to smash a home computer is an article from the BBC about how people manage to trash their pc by accident or in rage, here are some examples:

One user put his hard drive in a freezer, after reading on the internet that this can fix malfunctioning hardware.

When tidying up his computer folders, one user inadvertently deleted the ones he meant to keep. He only realised he'd made the mistake after emptying the recycle bin and defragging the hard drive.

While a large office was being constructed, a steel beam fell on a laptop that contained the plans for the building.

A female user placed her laptop on top of her car while getting in. Forgetting about the laptop, it slid off the roof and she then reversed straight over it as she set off

Beckham 'to quit England in 2006

Beckham 'to quit England in 2006 if this is true then this is the best piece of news English Football will ever hear! This is not like losing Shearer he was actually good Beckham on the hand has off days and super off days, only the fantastic Beckham who got us into the World Cup in the last minute against Greece.

This sounds like a really money making scheme

Russian McDonald's hit by law suit nowthis is the best money making scheme ever, go to your local McDonald's, Buy a coffee, pour it all over yourself, claim £1000's in compensation.

How many things can you ban kids from school for?

Girl suspended from doing cartwheels in school ... wonder what else you acn be suspended for in this weird world.

Beckham goes to Hollywood

Now i know that I have been going on a bit today but this is a quality bunch of stories, if u don't like beckham or like football you will love these so read:
Beckham goes to Hollywood.
here's a quick quote:
"He is signed up for a bit of Shakespeare after a director hears him calling his son in for tea...."Romeo, Romeo, where the hell are you, Romeo?!"

Worthington not 'aving it when a football player copied John Smith

BBC SPORT | Fun and Games | Worthington not 'aving it

German Foreign Minister affter Hungarian passport!

Now it's not just the Americans escaping to Canada ... The German Foreign Minister is after a Hungarian passport
although it's got nothing to do with Germany being bad it is still funny.
Well actually the German football team is bad and their language is too hard(i have to learn it) and their Bread is like rock cakes!!

Police tell bank robber to come back later

Police tell Robber to come back later
I can't believe a policeman, even an American would tell a robber to do this but someone did!

New Nationalities on my Blog...

Since my last update yestreday we had belgiums and canadians on my blog. I'm not sure they would be able to read this but hi anyway!!

Remembrance Day


Remember those who died in World War 1 in Flanders Field.


I think it would be a good idea to post the ussage stats, browser wise....

I know my website is not a brilliant indication of market share but we have:

	71	MSIE	6.0
	24	Firefox	1.0
	3	Netscape	7.2
	1	Mozilla	5.0
	1	MSIE	5.01

Which shows that the campaign on this site is working anyway!
Nice to know that we are also getting people from the UK on my site! hello too all the Americans and Other Nations that have been on here!

The Annoying Paper Clip

An old Article but it would have been funny at the time... This was where the most annoying paper clip in the world got more annoying!!!
Article

Firefox Now Out

Go download it!!
Firefox

Woke up and Found Firefox is running American Time!!

Yawn Gd Morning,
Pity Firefox isn't out yet so i will have to wait till i get back home after school.... dull.

But...
Firefox is out TODAY!!!!

2 hours 45 mins!!

Less than 3 Hours Now!!!
3 GOOD Reasons:
Security
Speed
Surfibility

7 Hours Till Firefox!!

7 Hours!!!!

1 day 11 hours to firefox!!!

1 day 11 Hours!!!!

Americans are all leaving idiot america!!!

Americans leaving their country this is outragous!! Don't let them leave good Canadians!!

Coca Cola Pesticide!!!

in india they are using aCoca Cola Pesticide.... weird but read the story!

My "Firepod" hehe!!!

Firefox Logo!!!

2

Sorry i forgot about 3!!!!

Firefox, Firefox WOOHOO!!!

4

These are the Universal Truths

1) Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones.
2) At the end of every party there is always a girl crying.
3) One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is when your
pint-to-toilet cycle gets synchronised with a complete stranger.
4) You've never quite sure whether it's ok to eat green crisps.
5) Everyone who grew up in the 80's has entered the digits 55378008 into a
calculator.
6) Reading when you're drunk is horrible.
7) Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel really manly.
8) You're never quite sure whether it's against the law or not to have a
fire in your back garden.
10) Nobody ever dares make cup-a-soup in a bowl.
11) You never know where to look when eating a banana.
12) Its impossible to describe the smell of a wet cat.
13) Prodding a fire with a stick makes you feel manly.
14) Rummaging in an overgrown garden will always turn up a bouncy ball.
15) You always feel a bit scared when stroking horses.
16) Everyone always remembers the day a dog ran into your school.
17) The most embarrassing thing you can do as schoolchild is to call your
teacher mum or dad.
18) The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would kill you at the
first given opportunity.
19) Some days you see lots of people on crutches.
20) Every bloke has at some stage while taking a pee flushed half way
through and then raced against the flush.
21) Old women with mobile phones look wrong!
22) Its impossible to look cool whilst picking up a Frisbee.
23) Driving through a tunnel makes you feel excited.
24) You never ever run out of salt.
25) Old ladies can eat more than you think.
26) You can't respect a man who carries a dog.
27) There's no panic like the panic you momentarily feel when you've got
your hand or head stuck in something.
28) No one knows the origins of their metal coat hangers.
29) Despite constant warning, you have never met anybody who has had their
arm broken by a swan.
30) The most painful household incident is wearing socks and stepping on an
upturned plug.
31) People who don't drive slam car doors too hard
32) You've turned into your dad the day you put aside a thin piece of wood
specifically to stir paint with.
33) Everyone had an uncle who tried to steal their nose.
34) Bricks are horrible to carry.
35) In every plate of chips there is a bad chip.

James Bond Style Streaker!!!!

The James Bond Style Streaker who was not allowed onto a plane doe to not being able to get onto a plane without a valid credit card ran stripped naked across the tarmac and jumped in the wheel well of a moving jumbo jet...What style!

Bush has Won

Oh dear another whole term of the American Idiot, I'm so pleased i live in a country where we we don't quite have someone as bad as him but.... we still have Blair, Bush's best mate!

Here is a decent countdown timer!

After a little recalculation it is 6 or 5 days depending on when you time it to...

6
OR
5

I got confused opps

eBay sellers get in a pickle...It is selling on ebay already!!!

eBay sellers get in a pickle - Web User News and The Auction Itself!

What a surprise, Pickle came on Ebay as people are panic buying, this will be fun. of course you can still get things such as flavoured varieties and own brands but none are as good!

Guess whats back... SPAM

Spam is back, back again!!! With TV Adverts... wonder what they will be like!!

Wonder if they have noticed spam has taken on another meaning in that time...

USA Election Today

Go on Nobody, both not get in somehow!! They are just both American idiots!!! Once again great song by Green Day!

Back to School Today... :(

After an exciting inset day yesterday i went back to school today. i had an exciting History test that i was told was next lesson... well done Mike. Anyway only goot one piec of homework for my first day back.

8 Days till Firefox!!!